Last Friday night I spoke as part of a candlelight vigil for a 16-year old transgender boy who took his life. Such moments are never easy, but this one was especially hard for me for two reasons.
The first reason was that on the previous Tuesday I had buried my father. I felt the cumulative weight of these deaths. I will miss my father but, in many ways, his passing seemed right. It freed him from a very painful battle with cancer and released him to heaven. We celebrated his life with fond remembrances of many happy occasions.
Ian – the transgender boy – had a death that seemed premature; like many suicides. He was a gentle, creative, friend of many and had a very supportive family. He had been “out” as Ian for a little over two years. While chronologically quite different, both my dad and Ian were released from pain.
Ian’s pain was not from being transgender; he and his family celebrated how God made him. His pain came from a world that was not ready for him. Many today would still rather cause pain than open their hearts up to people who are different. Sadly many do so from presumed religious perspectives; “presumed” because the hate and shame they seek to voice runs counter to the very teachings of their faith. Ian felt no shame for who he was, but died, in part, from the shame that others thrust upon him.
The second reason that Ian’s vigil was hard is that, like many transgender people, I once stood at the brink of that dark, life-ending precipice. What kept me from passing over was a combination of many people praying for me, my love for Joanne and my boys (and their families), and a new-found resolve that hit me hard at that very moment of destiny. The resolve was to not let hate, ignorance, and discrimination claim another life. The resolve saved me, but did not protect Ian.
The world desperately needs more resolved to not let hate – from whatever source (especially the presumed religious) – keep destroying lives. As we sang “We Shall Overcome” at the vigil, tears rolled down my eyes. I was reminded that the battle against hate has a long history and that more soldiers are needed.
I hope you will be one.
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5 comments:
Thank you for sharing, I know it had to be hard.
T
Dearest Julie -
Praise God for sharing your gifts with the world. I have every reason to belive that you will send ripples of change out to those who need it most. I will do what I can in my little corner of the world to help you.
I was at your Dad's service last Tuesday as he was our interim pastor for over a year. Meeting you at his service was a pleasure and I only wished I had more time to chat with you. Your parents have raised a fine individual and I know they both have loved you dearly.
My son is gay and I've never had an issue with it. He has never ceased being my child OR God's child. WhatI DO have issues with are those who judge and shun GLBT's. So I choose to arm myself with knowledge (which empowers me) and the love that Jesus has always been the supreme example of.
I have learned so much through reading, talking with incredible folks and visiting sites like yours. Thank you for being the open, honest and supportive woman you are.
And, again, I thank you for sharing your Dad with us. He was (and will always be) an incredible disciple of Christ for us. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Julie !
Most Kindly, Wendy
Thank you Wendy for your kind words and commitment to do what you can. That's all any of us can do, but I believe the world can change . . . one person at a time. Blessings, Julie
Julie,
You are a bright light that shines brilliantly in a sometimes too darkened world.
Thank you for your love, diligence and caring for the LGBT community and its allies. You are a wonderful example of what love can do.
You are a wonderful friend - I am so glad that I know you.
Much love and peace, Nancy
I read about Ian's passing and was very sad because he was so young. I do pray every night for God to stay his hand on those who wish to end their lives. I believe that the Transgender Day of Remembrance will have a lot more meaning to me.
I love your blog and the insight that you bring.
Gennee
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