I don’t feel like a hero. To my shame, I was a reluctant activist. I would write congressmen and senators and give to civil rights organizations, but it was all behind the scenes. The actions taken against me by the university where I worked gave me the kick in the pants (or skirt) I needed. Now I expect to be as active and vocal as I can as long as I can.
This week I had two incidents that shook me a little. At Transgender Michigan’s Pride in the Park I had three different people come up to me and tell me that I was a hero to them. Then yesterday, someone wrote to me, “Thanks again, Julie - The world has long needed a strength like you.” I don’t feel like a hero. What makes others think that? I have reached two tentative conclusions. First, every movement needs leaders who – like it or not – are perceived as heroes. Second, we need - desperately need - more heroes.
What made me a “hero”? It was a little over a year ago when I sat in a rocking chair in our living room with a handgun in my lap. I had composed an email to be sent that began with the words, “By the time you read this, I will be dead.” Then God broke through. I had a lot of friends praying for me during those very dark and difficult days. I believe their prayers saved my life. As I sat wrestling in my mind, I realized I loved my wife and kids (and grandson) too much to end my life. And in that moment I decided to not let hate and discrimination claim another victim. I chose to live and I chose to do all that I can to keep hate and discrimination ruining or ending as many other lives as I could.
So I began to tell me story and Joanne often was able to share her story as well. In God’s providence the story was told and people listened. For over a month I averaged 2-3 media interviews a weekday; including everything from student newspapers and local media to Fox News, Newsweek, and the Wall Street Journal. I was getting 80-100 emails a day from people encouraged by the story to be vocal, active, or supportive. All I did was tell my story and seek to live as authentic a life as I could. I guess that made me a hero. I don’t feel like a hero, but if that is what I am, more are needed. Want to be a hero? Tell your story and/or encourage others to tell theirs. You will be a hero . . . at least to me.
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5 comments:
There's a Mighty Mighty Bosstones song from the late nineties entitled The Impression That I Get. Some of the lyrics from the song:
...have you ever had the odds stacked up so high
You need a strength most don't possess
Or has it ever come down to do or die
You've got to rise above the rest...
I'm not a coward,
I've just never been tested
I'd like to think that if I was,
I would pass
Look at the tested and think there but for the grace go I.
I might be a coward,
I'm afraid of what I might find out.
I've never had to knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if
I've never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get.
Julie, when it was time to knock on wood, you rose to the occasion, and showed a strength of purpose -- you did the right thing when it was your turn to knock on wood.
Don't underestimate what you did when it would have been easier for you to just slink away. It's your rising to the occasion at a difficult time that cuses many of us to admire you as muc as we do.
There's a Mighty Mighty Bosstones song from the late nineties entitled The Impression That I Get. Some of the lyrics from the song:
...have you ever had the odds stacked up so high
You need a strength most don't possess
Or has it ever come down to do or die
You've got to rise above the rest...
I'm not a coward,
I've just never been tested
I'd like to think that if I was,
I would pass
Look at the tested and think there but for the grace go I.
I might be a coward,
I'm afraid of what I might find out.
I've never had to knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if
I've never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get.
Julie, when it was time to knock on wood, you rose to the occasion, and showed a strength of purpose -- you did the right thing when it was your turn to knock on wood.
Don't underestimate what you did when it would have been easier for you to just slink away. It's your rising to the occasion at a difficult time that cuses many of us to admire you as much as we do.
Thanks Autumn. Your perspective and kind words mean much.
You're so very welcome. :)
Now, if only I could have spelled "causes" correctly when I post a comment on your blog entry... :P
Julie, I followed your story ever since it came out. I consider you hero because you chose to follow your convictions. I a a transgender and crossdresser who is going to become a teacher soon. My desire is to help LGBT students and demonstrate Christian love in action. Keep doing what you are doing.
Gennee
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